It’s 2018 and we are to the point where most of us have stopped having to write over our 7s when we write the date. People are making moves, acting on their resolutions, and trying to make 2018 even better than 2017. Friends are getting engaged, having kids, and taking new and better jobs; meanwhile, family members are purchasing their first homes, colleagues are starting their own businesses, and your social networks are filled with people who’ve become investment gurus and started making bank (or making bitcoin, or making bank from bitcoin…how does this all work again?).  Meanwhile, you haven’t done any of this and are nowhere near being able to do it either.

But Sis, it is O-K.

Sure, 2018 can be “your year,” as can every year from here on out. But what does that even mean?  Was 2017 not your year because you didn’t do these things?  Think about it.

1.  You’re sad that you’re ____ years old, and you thought you’d already have kids by now. But you don’t.

 

Let’s reframe this a bit.  One or more of these likely describes your reality, Sis.
  • You don’t feel financially ready to take care of a dog, let alone a little human.
  • You aren’t dating anyone, or at least anyone you would trust to participate in your contribution of the Earth’s population.
  • You just got your brunch game up!  You are trying to sleep in, wake up on your own terms, then go have bottomless mimosas with your friends in that one outfit you been waiting to bust out after getting your body snatched in the gym over the past few months.
  • You want to be married before kids, and maybe even married for a few years before kids.
  • You have other things you want to accomplish before starting a family like traveling, starting your own business, learning the stock market, or growing your TWA (teeny weeny afro) out to MBL (mid-back length) (#Goals)!
  • You don’t even WANT kids and are completely ok with telling people where to shove it if they insist that you are incomplete without being a mother.  You’ve got their mother alright…

2.  You didn’t start that business and you don’t have the type of job your friends have. What promotion?

 

SIS, I KNOW.  I’m an EDUCATOR.  Do you know how funny I sit and look when I just bought Ramen and my friends just bought flights?!  But, I got you.  I got US.  REFRAME:
  • –You are gainfully employed in a position that you were able to choose; it’s in your career path.
  • ALL of your bills are paid, even if you are sharing my Ramen with me. And you had enough leftover to keep your hair, nails, and fit just the way you like them. If you couldn’t buy it and needed to DIY, you’ve just been working on your side hustle, Sis!
  • Just because you didn’t get a promotion doesn’t mean you haven’t been Queenin’ at work!  They know you’re the one putting in work, and even if all you have is the “Yea, that’s right” look you give to that salty, always-stealing-your-shine colleague, you were serving MAJOR face and that look slayed her whole life.
  • Whenever you take off work, your absence is truly felt.
  • You now have more friends who HAVE started their business meaning they can help you get yours going!  They also have developed some new networks so if you want to find a new job, they can help you broaden your search.

3.  They just bought a house. You still pay rent (or not).

 

Sis, I have a whole roommate that lowkey “borrows” the most random things of mine and thinks I don’t notice.  It’s cool!  REFRAME:
  • You are ABLE to pay rent. And more than likely, if you live alone, you live in a loft or a two-bedroom.  You were able to choose how much space you had and in what location you had it.
  • You bought furniture, dishes, and dare I say, a few kitchen appliances.  I don’t mean the starter set you had fresh out the house.  No, you bought sets and chose your colors.  You breathe a sigh of relief when you come into the nest you built.
  • You “still” live at home.  Translation–your debt is probably getting knocked down, and from time to time, mom’s good cooking soothes your soul in the middle of a hectic week.
  • You have a family that is able to support you as you handle your finances to save up for what you want.
  • You live with other people to knock your rent down.  SO. WHAT. SIS!  When people say “I couldn’t be ____ years old and still living with someone.” I always find that to be such an odd statement when it doesn’t stem from a place of “I need to live alone before I get married” or something along those lines…you know, of getting yourself together.  Cuz that’s all you’re doing, right?  You have a roommate so you can stack your coins as needed.  Or maybe you have a roommate just so that there is someone to interact with outside of work!  You owe NO ONE an explanation about your living situation if they are not a part of it physically, financially, or both.

4.  Reader’s Choice:

 

Whatever it is that you have been letting nag at your inner greatness, REFRAME IT, Sis.

Everything will happen when and how it needs to for you. That doesn’t mean just sit around and do nothing.  It means that the race that you are running is your own and you’ll get somewhere as long as you stay at it!  Continue to celebrate others and their pace, but discontinue the self-pity that laces those celebrations. You are the best person there ever will be at doing you. Own it.


Brittany is living life as a musical; everything is better with melodies of the heart. She is applying for global citizenship, collecting memories and sharing laughs with others far and wide. She hopes by embracing her truths as they come she gives others the courage to do the same. Connect with Brittany on Twitter @GloballyLocal6.

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