Don’t have anything nice to say?

I’m a firm believer in the idea that the universe gives back to us what we put into it. It may not be an immediate exchange but eventually the energy you put out comes back to you in one form or another. This leads me to point of this post, and age-old advice from my Grandma, God rest her beautiful soul:

If you ain’t got nothing nice to say, don’t say nothing at all.

Don’t get me wrong–we’re all human. From time to time, we’re all gonna have something to say that may not be very nice. Sometimes it’s for jokes, sometimes it’s out of anger. And sometimes, regardless of whether or not people want to admit it,  it’s just plain ol’ hatin.

We’re all guilty of this–throwin’ shade, is what some folks are calling it these days. Right now, however, I’m talking to a specific group of people. People who point out the bad before they acknowledge the good. People who stay locked and loaded with an observation of someone else’s flaws. Folks ready to rain on somebody else’s parade. This is for the audacious proclaimers that “she ain’t even that cute”, and the ones who “bet money he won’t/can’t….”

Let me be clear that this purpose of this post isn’t to be hypocritical and throw shade to the Negative Nancy’s of the world. This post is to help you. Because whether or not you know it,  I’d ‘bet money’ that the negativity that rolls off your back and out your mouth daily is coming back to affect you personally. I’m sure it weighs heavy on you like those bags Erykah sang about, blocking a stream of positive energy that could be trying to make its way to you. So I’m challenging you to be mindful of your words, and to ask yourself one or more of these questions the next time you have something negative to say about somebody:

What’s the point of your comment?

Like, forreal. Think about it. Is your comment doing anybody any good? Is it doing you any good? If not, keep it to yourself.

Is it the person that really bothers you? Or is it whatever they remind you that you’re lacking that bothers you?

Sometimes, you gotta ask yourself why you’re really mad. What is it about somebody else that’s so bad that it warrants your negative comment? If they have something you feel they’re undeserving of, ask yourself who are you to determine whether or not somebody deserves something. Focus on yourself, what you feel you deserve and do what you gotta do to get it. Don’t cast your insecurities on other people’s lives.

What is the act of you making a negative statement about somebody else going to do for your life?

Besides maybe getting you a chuckle from a friend, what do you have to gain from continuously putting other people down? Nothing.

How would you feel if someone made the comment you made about someone you love?

What if someone said what you said about someone you love? Because chances are, you care about someone who isn’t perfect and who other people could very well find a reason to put down. And guess what else? You aren’t perfect. And it doesn’t matter that you don’t care about what people say about you–that doesn’t give them a right to put you down, just like you don’t have a right to put others down.

What would happen if you kept your comment to yourself?

The Earth would keep spinning and you would have saved the world and our community of negative energy that we definitely don’t need.

How can you take what you are about to say, and communicate the same sentiment in a more positive and productive way?

Maybe what you have to say is valid. After all, constructive, tactful criticism is a good thing, especially if it’s given in an effort to build someone up. How you can phrase your statement in a way that someone could actually take something positive away from it? If you can’t, maybe just don’t say anything.

All I’m saying is that life is hard enough. And the last thing we need is to further pollute our worlds and minds with more negativity, especially towards each other. So the next time you find yourself with something ‘not nice’ to say, like my Grandma used to say, just don’t say it at all.

Wishing you peace, love & positivity.

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Southern girl with a soft spot for Harlem. Biggie enthusiast with kindred spirit ties to Beyonce. Martin's Gina. Jerry's Elaine. Communicator. MBA-haver. Too complex for anybody's box.